The Significance of Being on Time

As we start the school year, we want to connect about a really crucial part of Montessori learning environments and how it affects your child, as well as the community as a whole.

First, it helps to remember that we are constantly working to ensure the Montessori learning environment is supporting your child’s development. To do this most effectively, we observe. In our observations, we are looking at what is working for children (and what isn’t). 

These observations may lead to some changes. For example, we might adjust the arrangement of the furniture so that there is a better flow of activity in the room. Or we might recognize how an individual child needs a little extra time to watch friends before starting any activity. Sometimes we might realize that, as adults, we are walking around too much and distracting the children, so we slow down and take a few moments to sit calmly. 

While much of the Montessori learning environment depends upon observing so we can make modifications to what we do, there is one aspect that is really sacrosanct: the three-hour work cycle.

Three-Hour Work Cycles & the “Flow State”

Dr. Montessori was a scientist and the Montessori method of education was born from her observations of children and how to support their optimum development. She even graphed patterns of activity for individual children and classroom communities. In her scientific study, Dr. Montessori found that children need a block of uninterrupted time in order to go through a rhythm of focus and consolidation. Children two and a half and older need at least three hours to move through these cycles of concentration. Often children’s most growth and meaningful work happens toward the end of a three-hour block of time.

We can think about this in relation to our current-day understanding of what it means to get into a flow state. Sometimes people describe a flow state as “being in the zone.” It’s when we are so immersed in and focused on what we are doing that a sense of time and our surroundings disappear. This concept of flow has been most clearly articulated by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi. Csikszentmihalyi was a psychologist whose studies of happiness and creativity led to his articulation of flow – a highly focused mental state that is conducive to creativity and productivity. Interestingly enough, when Csikszentmihalyi’s grandchildren started going to a Montessori school, he saw how Montessori learning environments allowed young children to achieve this state of flow. 

Why is this significant?

In order to get into their own state of flow, children in our learning communities need a three-hour chunk of time. We have designed our morning arrivals and routines so that children can benefit from an interrupted morning work cycle. 

Part of the morning schedule involves children having enough time to greet their peers and go through their routines without being rushed before they enter the classroom environment. When children are ready and in the classroom, the guides can begin focusing on giving lesson presentations and generally supporting children as they start their day.

However, if children routinely arrive late at the beginning of the morning, the adults’ attention needs to be split between greeting those who arrive late and attending to the children who have started their important work of the day. 

This is also hard on the children who arrive after their peers have settled into their morning. When children enter a space where everyone is already connected and engaged in work, it is hard for them to connect with classmates and even know where to begin. This is especially challenging for those who really need to establish a social connection at the beginning of their day. It’s a little like awkwardly coming late to a party and finding everyone else in already established social circles!

In addition, late arrivals can be challenging for the community as a whole. The children who were on time and working often find it distracting when friends and classmates arrive. They might even lose focus on what they were leaning because they feel compelled to greet their friends. However, once everyone has arrived, the community is really able to settle. The adults aren’t trying to help children transition into the classroom and friends aren’t getting distracted by who is coming through the door. After arrivals are over, a gentle hum often comes over the room.

A World of Difference

Children need time to transition. Some children are relatively quick, while others take over 15 minutes to get their items put away, shoes changed, and so forth. 

It makes a world of difference when our community members arrive on the early side, so that transitions can happen when a guide is able to be present to greet children and so that we can have everyone in the classroom at the start of the day.

We know that mornings can be hard. Believe us, we know. If we were able to just extend the morning if people arrive late, we would! However, children get hungry for lunch, we want to have plenty of time outdoors, and we also need to leave time for children who need to rest. Thus, we rely upon on-time arrivals for the very important three-hour work cycle. Having that uninterrupted block of time is vital to a well-functioning classroom and to individual children’s development.

Thank You!

Thank you so much for being attentive to on-time arrivals, understanding why having the three-hour work cycle is so important, and considering how you can help. If you would like to meet and brainstorm about routines that can support on-time arrivals, we would be honored to get to strategize with you. When we can meet one-on-one with families to support morning routines, we often find some really creative, healthy, win-win options! It can take time to figure out what is most effective for each child and family. It’s a constantly evolving opportunity and we look forward to the collaboration. Please schedule a time to come in and connect.

Participation in Practical Matters

In our daily lives, we do so much to maintain our surroundings, as well as care for ourselves and others. As adults, we take these activities for granted. Young children, however, yearn to participate in practical matters.

Everything we do to care for the environment, ourselves, and others make up what can be called "practical life" activities. In a Montessori home or school environment, practical life activities help children learn about cultural norms, while also helping them develop internal motivation, intellect, and body coordination.

Purposes of Practical Life 

With this in mind, we can really think about how practical life activities have two purposes: one is external and one is internal. The first purpose is to help children engage in something meaningful and real. For example, washing a table leads to a clean table. The second aim is to help children develop their internal worth and sense of competency. 

Practical life activities help children become psychologically and physically independent. By the time 24-year-olds begin life on their own, they should be able to provide for themselves, be responsible for their actions, plan for their future, and perhaps even help support others. The little things we do early in children’s lives set them up for later success.  

As children engage in purposeful work, they develop a sense of being an important part of the family or community. By beginning to help take care of their personal needs, they also develop a sense of accomplishment. 

In a Montessori environment, children have a place where practical life activities are carefully prepared and presented to support emerging independence. The sink is at children’s height. The faucet is easy to turn on and off. The soap container holds just enough soap to wash hands. Children can perform activities that were perhaps previously done for them. 

Practicing Self-Care

The practice of self-care can begin early in children’s lives by approaching tasks with an attitude of collaboration. Even if a baby can’t do an action, they can have a sense of participating. We can invite this participation by saying things like, “I’m going to put on your shirt. Let’s put your arm through the sleeve.” As we allow for more and more collaboration, children’s active participation gradually increases. Opportunities for collaboration can be as simple as offering something in front of a child rather than actually putting it into their hands.

Caring for Surroundings

In addition to self-care, a Montessori environment provides numerous ways for children to care for their surroundings. In order for children to be successful in this process of caring for their surroundings, we thoughtfully prepare the environment. Child-sized materials give children an opportunity to participate successfully. Their work must be real work, rather than activities to just keep them busy. Plus, the impact on the environment needs to be clear. If the plants need water, then children can water the plants. If the floor is wet, children can mop the floor. If a table is dirty, children can wash the table. Through real and meaningful activities, children develop a strong sense of belonging within a community. 

Supporting Practical Life at Home

Parents often ask how to support their children’s practical life work at home. One easy and meaningful strategy is to create routines that help children care for their surroundings. They can clean up toys at the end of the day, set the table for dinner, or put dirty clothes in the laundry basket. The preparation for these kinds of activities isn’t elaborate and merely requires carefully selected items or furniture: a basket in the laundry room for dirty clothes, a special shelf for toys, or a low drawer in the kitchen prepared with items for setting the table. 

When thinking about how to create practical life activities, consider the following:

1.     Will the activity help develop independence and coordination of movement? 

2.     Can it be done independently?

3.     What skills are needed?

4.     Will this activity allow repetition?

5.     Is it culturally appropriate and necessary?

6.     Is it beautiful?

7.     Is the material child-sized?

8.     Is it logical? 

9.     Is it safe?

With these guiding questions in mind, we can create simple yet purposeful ways for our children to learn how to care for themselves, those around them, and their surroundings. In the process, children observe what is essential and then make the activities their own. Plus, as they internalize the procedure, children start to realize how capable they are! They put their whole focus into their work and experience great satisfaction in completing the activity. Meaningful engagement in practical life activities allows children to develop a strong sense of belonging and ultimately flourish into their fullest selves.

During these summer days, take a look at where your children might be able to contribute to the daily rhythms of the household, or even take more ownership of their own routines for self-care. Children will begin to imitate adult actions, which leads to them performing tasks in their own unique ways.

Keep in mind that this process is not completely linear, as some days children need more support than on other days. At this point, we can offer loving assistance while still upholding a sense of their involvement: “I see your clothes are still on the floor. Let’s pick them up together.” We all can use a little help sometimes!

From infants to adolescents, our young people are quite capable and benefit greatly from participating in practical life activities. If you would like some inspiration for how children are involved in caring for themselves, their surroundings, and others, please contact us!

Supporting Independent Sleep

In Montessori, we talk a lot about independence because we want to help children in their process of becoming capable young people! For our youngest children, this means supporting them in mastery of basic functions such as eating, toileting, and sleeping. Supporting independent skills in these three areas is pretty significant because these are parts of life where children ultimately have complete control over what does or doesn’t happen. So it makes sense for us to avoid setting up obstacles in these areas and instead help children develop skills that will build up their confidence. 

Our Language Matters

The language we use is indicative of our goals. For example, when children are learning to use the toilet, we make sure our language reflects that process. We aren’t “training” children like we might train a pet. We are helping them learn life skills so they can be well-functioning humans who understand cultural norms. In fact, we even call what we do “toilet learning” because children are learning how to take care of their bodily needs by using the toilet. 

Similarly, when thinking about children and their sleep, we are not “sleep training” like we might crate train a new puppy. Rather, we are supporting children’s natural process of learning how to settle themselves, self-soothe, and eventually fall asleep independently.

Importance of Sleep

With more and more research about the role sleep plays in brain development, growth, and learning, we have a responsibility to educate ourselves about how best to promote healthy sleep hygiene. A 2007 study states “that the most fundamental requirements for healthy growth and development in young children include a) loving support and protection by parents/caretakers, b) adequate nutrition, and c) adequate sleep.” A 2020 review of sleep and early brain development details how “sleep plays a critical role in learning and memory, emotional regulation, and related brain structure development.” Establishing healthy sleep practices in the early years is critical for our children’s development. So how can we best do this?

Focus on Four Factors

In order to help our children have trust in us and strengthen a secure attachment, we need to provide safe boundaries. This includes helping them learn what is acceptable and what isn’t in regard to sleep. Just like we hold boundaries for dental hygiene, we can uphold healthy sleep habits, too!

To promote healthy sleep hygiene, we can focus on four factors: 

• establishing an environment that is conducive to sleep, 

• maintaining regular routines, 

• providing suitable associations for the onset of sleep, and 

• upholding limits while making adjustments throughout childhood.

Sleep Environment

To create a place that is conducive to sleep, it can be helpful to think about our own sleep needs. Are we more likely to fall asleep in a bright, noisy, active environment, or in one that is dark, quiet, and calm? The same applies to our children. A comfortable sleep environment should be dark because sleep hormones are triggered by darkness. Plus, natural and blue-based artificial light stimulates alertness. Black-out blinds or curtains (as well as aluminum foil over the windows in a pinch) help immensely. The designated sleep space, whether a bedroom or other area, should also be calm, quiet, and free of distractions like toys or other interest-provoking items. Finally, it’s best if the room temperature is slightly cooler.

Regular Routines

Our children depend upon us to establish healthy and consistent routines, including times for rest. When children stay up past their nap or bedtime, they can enter into an overtired zone. At this point, they experience a stress response, which leads to the release of adrenaline and cortisol. This influx of chemicals causes a “second wind” and children can become even more energized and awake, despite their intense need for sleep. 

To avoid this vicious cycle, it’s important to learn our children’s sleep window, which is the time it is easiest for the brain to switch to sleep. Children actually give us cues as to when they are in a window for sleep. They might begin to have some difficulty listening, lose focus, or become a little more irritable. Some children may rub their eyes, go for a comfort object, or seek contact with a caregiver. 

Every child is a little different, but when they start to indicate they are in a sleep window, it is time to wrap up the routine. The process should be very simple, for example, pajamas, toileting, teeth, one story, a hug, and a kiss. It’s better for extensive reading and a long bath to happen before the sleep window because these activities can very easily push children past the window of opportunity and lead to them entering the overtired zone. A predictable, simple pre-sleep routine allows children to unwind and feel secure in knowing that sleep is happening next.

Sleep Onset Associations

When children fall asleep, they form associations with the conditions that are present at the time when they actually drift off. So if we rock our children, read to them, or even snuggle in their bed next to them until they fall asleep, our children learn that they need that condition to be present in order to fall asleep. This also means that as children awake slightly during normal sleep cycles, they look for the same conditions they had when they first fell asleep. If children can’t recreate those on their own, they become dependent upon adult intervention, which can then can lead to more frequent night wakings. 

Thus we need our children to go to bed when they are drowsy but still awake, so they can develop appropriate sleep onset associations. We can sing a song, read a book, or rub their back. However, we need to end any of these activities before our children actually fall asleep. We need to leave them while they are heavy-eyed but not yet asleep! Transition objects can help children, too. Some might like a special blanket, doll, or stuffed animal, which they can use to self-soothe as they drift off to sleep.

Limits & Adjustments

Sleep patterns change throughout early childhood and beyond. So while children need us to be consistent, they also need us to understand developmental changes. It can help to use resources like the Sleep Foundation to check on recommended hours of sleep for different developmental stages.

As children get older, they also get more sophisticated in trying to prolong the bedtime routine or keep us engaged when actually we should be stepping out of the process to allow them to fall asleep on their own. Work collaboratively with your child to establish or re-establish the routine (and the limits). Write down the routine and revisit it before bedtime. Stay calm and consistent. 

Children are hard-wired to test the boundaries and are just checking to make sure we are going to stay true to the agreement. If you feel like you are going to break down and not be able to uphold the agreement, find someone who can be your backup or reinforcement. If you are doing bedtime alone, find a friend who you can text or call and who will remind you about staying true to what was established. 

Above all, make sure you are taking care of yourself! If you are sleep-deprived it is much harder to hold limits or think clearly about the long-term goal of helping children become independent and capable young humans. If you ever want to talk or need support, we are happy to help. We love to share resources and support families!

Making Amends

Mistakes are a part of life. We all make them. Hopefully, we even learn from them!

Intellectually we probably understand that mistakes are part of our children’s process of learning and growing. Yet as parents and caregivers, it can be hard to know how to handle situations when our children don’t do the right thing.

Think about those times when your child is rude, breaks something, or hits a playmate. In those moments, we all too often want our children to immediately apologize. However, apologies can quickly become an easy and surface-level response. Plus, our children might not (yet) feel sorry for what they did.

 Although apologies can be a good first step, they are just that…a first step. Really it is the process of making amends that is the most meaningful. 

Making Amends

How do we support children who have made a mistake and aren't sure about how to make amends? Genuine apologies certainly aren't easy, but it's a lot easier to apologize for a mistake than it is to fix it. Diane Gossen's book, Restitution: Restructuring School Discipline, provides a framework for helping young people learn from their mistakes and hopefully make the right choices in the future. 

The definition of restitution revolves around the restoration of something damaged, lost, or stolen, which basically means restoring what was affected to its original state. When we make mistakes, it can feel like squeezing too much toothpaste out of the tube. Getting the excess back in can feel impossible. Yet the process of cleaning up and restoring what we can is how we make things right again. 

Recipe for Restitution

Gossen's recipe for restitution is designed to help the mistake-maker experience a healing process, which can be considered self-restoration. According to Gossen, the process of making things right again should include the following components:

• The person(s) affected by the mistake will feel that the restitution is acceptable and appropriate.

• The restitution will require effort.

• By making amends, the mistake-maker will be discouraged (or at least not encouraged to repeat the mistake. 

For the process to be really exceptional, three other characteristics may be involved:

• The restitution will be logically connected to the mistake.

• The process will connect to a deeper understanding of the big picture of how people treat each other.

• The experience will actually strengthen the mistake-maker.

In supporting the process of making amends, we must be very careful to refrain from criticizing, inducing guilt, or expressing anger. Also, we must not feel like we are overextending ourselves. The person trying to fix the mistake must own the process.

Opportunities

If we are attentive to opportunities for our children to make things right, we can approach mistakes differently. For example, if your child has been rude to someone, take some time after the fact to hear what your child was feeling at that moment. Perhaps they were upset about something that happened prior. Or maybe they were just hungry. The key is to let your child know that you are genuinely curious about what they were feeling. In the process, you can acknowledge and affirm those feelings. Likely your child already feels remorse for how they behaved. The next step is to brainstorm ways to make amends for those actions. Often children want to start with an apology, so it’s worth exploring if they want to apologize with words or with actions. From the apology, you can start to dig into how to make things right. For example, think together about how the relationship can be repaired so that the other person feels secure and safe, rather than uncertain or hurt.   

Perhaps your child, in a fit of frustration, ends up dropping a plate on the floor. When it shatters, the trick is to not react. Rather, let your child feel the intensity of the moment. Take some deep breaths. Offer to help and yet be clear that all the broken pieces need to be cleaned up so they don’t cut anyone’s feet. The process may be long and effortful. Yet your child’s care of the broken plate is part of the experience of making amends. Later, you can acknowledge how hard your child worked to fix the mistake. 

A similar process applies if your child hits a playmate. Staying non-reactive is especially important in these moments, as we are modeling how to stay in control when emotions get heightened. Check-in with the hurt child to make sure they are okay. Then wonder about and acknowledge your child’s feelings. “You seemed really frustrated and then you hit. It can be hard when we have big feelings. It’s also not okay to hit.” There is no shaming or forced apology. Just a clear translation of what happened. When your child feels calm and grounded, you can offer some ways to make amends. “I wonder how we can show your friend some kindness.” 

Younger children need our support in working through these steps. They often will need some modeling or suggestions for restoring the relationship or repairing the damage. As our children mature and internalize the restitution process, they will need less guidance and perhaps only a bit of gentle support.

If you are curious about how all of this works amongst a community of children, please schedule a tour of our school. We would love to share how we help children embrace mistakes as part of their learning!

Montessori at Home: Caring for Pets Montessori-Style

The summer months can be a wonderful time to integrate some Montessori principles and practice into our home environments. With that in mind, our focus this week is on how to care for pets, Montessori-style. 

Montessori classrooms regularly have pets as part of the community for a number of reasons. When children have contact with the natural world, especially when they are part of taking care of living things, they develop a deep reverence for life in all its forms. In addition, as children are learning how to independently care for themselves, they can apply their skills to caring for an animal, leading to increased self-control and responsibility. Becoming aware of and attuned to another being’s needs supports the development of increased empathy and compassion.

“Children have an anxious concern for living beings, and therefore the satisfaction of this instinct fills them with delight. It is therefore easy to interest them in taking care of plants and especially of animals. Nothing awakens foresight in a small child, who lives as a rule for the passing moment and without care for the morrow, so much as this.”

— Dr. Maria Montessori, The Discovery of the Child

Daily Care

If you already have a pet or pets at home, encouraging children’s participation in their daily care is a good place to start. The easiest first step is giving a pet food and water. Even young toddlers can do this! The key is having the correct amount of food prepared in an easy-to-dispense container. The container can be placed on a tray or consistent place that is available for your child to access, carry to the pet’s food bowl or space, and then pour or place for the pet. 

If the pet is a fish, a small dish for the food can work. A hermit crab might need a small piece of fruit stored in a container that can be easily opened so the fruit can be retrieved and placed into the habitat. Whereas a larger animal like a dog or cat, will likely need a portion of food in a container that can be poured into their food dish, or, in the case of wet food, scooped out and transferred to the food dish.

The same approach can be applied to refilling a water bottle for hamsters or gerbils or pouring water into a water dish for larger pets. Ensure your child can access the water source and has a child-sized pitcher or measuring cup that holds just the right amount of water for your pet. 

Break it Down

To make the process most successful, it’s best to think about breaking down the steps and making sure the materials are accessible and child-friendly. Does the container open easily? When pouring does the food or water come out from one place so it goes where intended? How far is the reach to get food into a habitat? Look at everything from your child’s perspective and anticipate any obstacles. 

After figuring out the best materials and set-up, the next step is to show your child how to complete each part of the process. For young children, always make sure there are a limited number of steps. It can help to have a visual guide available, too. For example, if the pet needs to be fed once in the morning and once at night, you can have a picture that represents this. The visual guide can be laminated or put in a sheet protector and hung at your child’s eye level. Older children can use a dry-erase marker to check off when they have fed the pet. 

Cleaning or Grooming

The same practice can be applied to other parts of pet care. Perhaps the food area needs to be cleaned by washing the dishes, wiping a mat wiped, or sweeping spilled food. The learning process can be incremental. In the beginning, maybe your child is just misting something like a hermit crab habitat but over time learns how to clean the enclosure, too. Other animals might need their bedding replaced or washed. If a pet needs a bath, a young child can be part of filling the tub with water or scooping water for rinsing. Eventually, children can take ownership of more and more of the process. If your child is ready for more responsibility, they can also learn how to independently clean or groom your pet. From brushing to bathing, children can be involved in various aspects of pet care!

Interacting & Playing

Learning how to interact with pets offers children opportunities to learn how to read non-verbal cues and anticipate needs. In treating animals with care, children get to practice grace and courtesy which helps them extend these skills throughout all their relationships. We all appreciate gentle touches, soft approaches, and respectful care!

Different pets require different kinds of toys and handling. Children can be involved in creating some play items for particular pets, such as toys on a string for cats to chase or making a yarn pull for birds. Children can get creative with finding things around the house for a pet to use, like recycling toilet paper rolls for gerbils to chew. Older children can research healthy treats or training tips. 

Children can take on other responsibilities, too, such as taking a dog for a walk or being involved in training. Even small animals can often experience different levels of training, such as parakeets learning how to make certain sounds or to perch on a finger. Having books and resources available for children to learn more about their pets is another nice extension and cultivates more curiosity about what living things need and how to provide for them. 

Ultimately, children like to be involved in the care of their pets. It is important for them to feel the connection with their beloved animals, and foster the feelings of responsibility and self-confidence that come with it.

If you would like some inspiration for how to support your child’s care of pets, let us know! We are happy to share our experience with having pets in our classrooms. 

Symbiosis: The Newborn’s First Months

Those first moments after giving birth are some of the most precious. Newborn and mother come together for the first time as separate beings. This relationship is so intimate and incredibly unique because of the symbiotic link between the birth mother and her newborn child. 

The word symbiosis comes from the Ancient Greek “σύν” which means "together" and “βίωσις” which means “living.” As a biological term, symbiosis means the union of two different organisms based on mutual benefit. The mother and the newborn both need each other. Their lives are intertwined. 

Mutual Benefits

We generally recognize how a newborn is dependent upon their mother. Because of the increased size of their brains, human infants are born before their gestation is complete. Often called the “fourth trimester,” the first three months is a time when babies are still developing dramatically outside of the womb. 

A mother’s dependence upon a newborn is perhaps not as obvious. Yet after birth, a mother needs contact with the newborn for her own body to complete the birth process. Immediate breastfeeding stimulates the secretion of oxytocin which helps the mother’s uterus contract, thereby helping the placenta detach and eventually helping the uterus return to normal size. Breastfeeding also reduces the risk of maternal hemorrhage. In addition to the release of oxytocin, breastfeeding induces the pituitary gland to release prolactin. This hormone is not only responsible for lactation but also contributes to hundreds of other bodily processes.

The mother also needs contact with her baby for bonding and her own emotional stability. A process of attachment develops from this contact. The process of birth has been trying for the mother and infant and both need reassurance. Through the closeness of cradling and caressing, the mother and newborn experience mutual benefits.

In addition, the newborn relies on their mother for points of reference to help them adapt to an otherwise unfamiliar environment. When held close, the newborn can hear the mother’s heartbeat and can hear the mother’s voice. Maternal warmth and closeness allow the newborn to feel secure. 

Needs of the Newborn

This is a critical time for the mother to establish a bond with her child. And in doing so, she establishes the future relationship between her child and the environment. When a baby can relate to familiar points of reference, they feel secure and their energy can go into their growth and development. 

The newborn has five basic and immediate needs: 

1. direct contact with the mother, 

2. adherence to biological rhythms, 

3. temporal, physical, and social order, 

4. space for unhindered vision and movement, and 

5. opportunities to explore with all the senses.  

The newborn is reliant on the mother (and any other family members) to meet these needs so as to develop into a healthy human being.  

During the first six to eight weeks of life–the symbiotic period–there are three aspects of the mother-child relationship that provide opportunities to meet these basic needs: holding, handling, and feeding.  

Holding

Holding, with skin-to-skin physical contact between the mother and newborn, is ideal immediately after birth. Being held during the weeks after birth continues to be important for the child’s feeling of acceptance and assurance. 

The infant should feel physically secure when held. Ultimately, though, emotional communication when being held is most important for the infant. They need to feel love and acceptance transmitted through touch, which thus provides a sense of trust. 

Handling

In addition, the infant needs their mother and caregivers to handle them lovingly while dressing, changing, bathing, and otherwise caring for them. During these times of “handling” when a caregiver uses their hands to care for an infant, it is important for the caregiver to make a meaningful connection. By collaborating and communicating with the infant, caregivers establish yet another form of trust and ultimately social security. 

In providing these caregiving routines, it is critical to establish a predictable pattern while also respecting the infant’s biological rhythms. The newborn is trying to adjust to day and night while also establishing a sleeping schedule that meets their needs. Having an order to the daily activities is essential for providing a frame of reference. For example, it is best to have one parent give the baby a bath at the same time each day, such as before bedtime. This process of establishing meeting points provides a sense of predictability and thus security for the child. These daily activities should also include time for the child to move on their own and experience appropriate sensory richness in the environment.

Feeding

Through feeding, the mother and infant develop a powerful sense of togetherness and direct union, thus establishing physical and psychological unity. With this in mind, how breastfeeding happens is significant. Even though a baby needs support in coming to the breast, they should be allowed the freedom to choose when to suckle. This establishes a fundamental basis for their relationship with food. Food can always be offered with love and placed before someone, yet not inside, a person. This establishes healthy boundaries.

Eventually, the mother and infant will be in communication about feeding so that the mother will recognize the child’s signs of hunger and the child will feel secure in their ability to have their needs met. This relationship around feeding forms the basis for the child’s understanding not only of how food is nourishment but also how to relate to others. It also helps when the mother can give her total attention to her nursing infant. 

Key Experiences

Through these key experiences of holding, handling, and feeding, the infant forms a fundamental understanding of their environment. With positive experiences during the symbiotic period, the child develops a trust that their needs will be met. They experience how their environment is a place in which they feel safe. This eventually leads to being able to confront new situations with assurance. 

The symbiotic period is an important foundational time for the mother and child. The collaborative experience provides mother and child with the physical, psychological, and emotional basis for the next stages. After the six to eight weeks of the symbiotic period, the newborn should have a basic understanding that the external world will be responsive to their needs. The mother will feel secure in this new relationship with her child. Mutual needs and close connections lay the foundation for all the wonderful development to come!

Curious to learn more? Be sure to check out Understanding the Human Being: The Importance of the First Three Years of Life by Silvana Quatrocchi Montanaro. Another informative resource is Touching: The Human Significance of the Skin by Ashley Montagu.