Engaged or Bored? How to Tell What Your Child is Feeling at School

A familiar scenario: your child comes home from school, and you, the interested parent, eagerly ask them how their day was and what they did.  While some children will happily relay the day’s events, most shrug and say, “Good” without offering any details.  Don’t worry - this is totally normal and related to their fatigue that time of day.  Give it a few hours and ask at dinner time.  

Did you know that you can learn a lot about your child’s day without them saying a word?

Is your child’s experience at school one that nurtures engagement, or one that leads to their boredom?

There are plenty of ways to tell how your child is feeling (and we will share them below).  School should be a place that sparks wonder and curiosity; it should not feel like a necessity that must be endured.  Read on for clues as to how your child’s learning experience feels to them.

What an engaged child looks like

• They will make connections to their learning in everyday life. As you prepare lunch one Saturday they may tell you all about the food preparation activities they have learned over the past month or so. Or they may surprise you with extensive background knowledge as you watch a nature show together. Making connections is a clear sign of real understanding.

• They may blurt out seemingly random (but interesting) bits of their learning. “Did you know that if our intestines weren’t all squiggled up they would be the size of a baby blue whale?!” These moments let us know that children are thinking about what they’ve learned long after they first hear the information, and that it’s fascinating to them.

• They complain when they have to stay home sick from school. Of course, no one likes to be sick, but for children who really love going to school it’s doubly awful. Not only do they feel bad physically, but they have to miss out on all the fun for a day.

• They surprise you at drop-off. Maybe they hastily jump out of the car, ready to run for the school’s door. Or maybe they even forget to say goodbye once in a while. Don’t take it too personally - this just means they feel really excited about where they get to spend their days.

• They have meaningful friendships. This means different things at different ages, but if they have mostly positive interactions with their peers, it’s likely they are happy in the environment. Good schools encourage supportive relationships and acknowledge that our connections with others is part of who we are as whole people.

• They display signs of independence and confidence. A positive school environment lets children feel empowered not just in their learning, but in who they are as people. If your child wants to do things for themselves and take positive risks, they have probably been encouraged to do so at school.

What a bored child looks like

• They are reluctant to go to school. We all have days like this, but if you notice your child seems like they’d rather stay home every day, it’s worth noting.

• They are displaying problematic behaviors. There can be many reasons for a child acting out, but one of them is a feeling of disconnect with school. Boredom is one reason children make poor choices.

• They complain that the work at school is too hard or too easy. These statements may be true (or not), but they are indicative of a need for more challenge or support.

• The difficult-to-describe spark has faded. Children are naturally excited about life, so when you see the moments of curiosity and wonder becoming less and less present in your child’s days, it might be time to figure out what’s going on.

• They tell you they feel bored at school. It can be easy to shrug these types of comments off, especially if we accept our own negative school experiences as normal. If your child is able to articulate that they are not feeling positively about their school experience, it’s important that we listen to them.

What can you do?

Keep in mind that the signs we described can be viewed as guidelines; every child is different and there are many reasons a child may feel negatively about their school experience.  If you notice a pattern of avoidant, problematic, or apathetic behavior, it’s worth paying attention and taking a closer look.  Some suggestions: 

• Schedule a meeting with your child’s teacher. Don’t present your concerns as accusatory, rather state any factual observations and ask for their take on the situation. If they seem concerned and eager to work together to solve the problem, that’s a great sign (especially if they follow through).

• Learn about the educational philosophy of your child’s school. Is learning individualized or standards-based? Are lessons exploratory or directive? Are there indications that the school places value on more than just academics? Is it obvious that independence (including independent thinking) is valued? How are peer social conflicts handled?

• Find out if your child’s school provides adequate opportunities for movement. Many teachers in conventional schools feel extreme pressure in regards to scheduling and content they must cover on a daily basis, making recess (and even breaks and in-class movement) less of a priority. Kids need unstructured playtime to be able to focus when it is time for learning.

• Involve your child in the conversation, to the extent that is appropriate for their age. Ask them how they feel and let them know they can be honest with you. Ask them what they wish was different about their experience.

We hope this post has been informative.  We believe that Montessori is the answer for so many children.  Curious to see what joyful, engaged learning looks like?  Schedule a tour today.  We would love to show you our classrooms in action.

Back to School

And just like that, summer is drawing to a close.  School is right around the corner, and we’re here to give you some tips and tricks to get the kids (and yourselves) ready!

Supplies 

Now is a great time to start gathering school supplies if you haven’t already started.  Take into consideration your child’s age and what they will really need for school.  Most Montessori classrooms utilize community supplies that are shared, but many teachers have a wish list or requested supply list for parents. Be sure to check the letter you received from your child’s teacher over the summer.

As children get older, they may need more traditional school supplies.  Again, we recommend checking with your child’s teacher, but it’s helpful to have pencils, crayons, scissors, and paper on hand at home for projects.  Older children may need notebooks and more specialized supplies.

Bedtimes

Long summer days and less pressure to wake up early often leads to later bedtimes for children.  While this is great for family fun, it’s helpful to reassess your child’s sleep needs before school starts.

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends the following:

• Infants 4 months to 12 months should sleep 12 to 16 hours per 24 hours (including naps) on a regular basis to promote optimal health.

• Children 1 to 2 years of age should sleep 11 to 14 hours per 24 hours (including naps) on a regular basis to promote optimal health.

• Children 3 to 5 years of age should sleep 10 to 13 hours per 24 hours (including naps) on a regular basis to promote optimal health.

• Children 6 to 12 years of age should sleep 9 to 12 hours per 24 hours on a regular basis to promote optimal health.

• Teenagers 13 to 18 years of age should sleep 8 to 10 hours per 24 hours on a regular basis to promote optimal health.

https://www.aap.org/en-us/about-the-aap/aap-press-room/Pages/American-Academy-of-Pediatrics-Supports-Childhood-Sleep-Guidelines.aspx

To make sure your child is sleep-ready for school, consider what time they will need to go to bed on an ideal school night, then start slowly inching bedtime back each day from now until the start of school. 

Routines

Children thrive with routine.  While it’s not always possible during summertime, it’s super important to reestablish routines when getting ready to head back to school.

Bedtime isn’t just about sleep, but also the hour or so leading up to it.  Create predictable steps and order so that your child can focus on rest and not anticipation of what’s next.  You may want to begin bedtime with a warm bath, followed by putting on pajamas, brushing teeth, and reading a story in bed.  

Morning routines are helpful, too.  What do you expect your child to do independently, and what will they need help with?  Again, try to keep the same order and timing each day so everything runs smoothly.  Children who need reminders (read: most kids) often find it helpful to have a visual reminder.  Post a note in your child’s bedroom or the bathroom listing the order of what needs to be done.  For children who aren’t reading yet, a picture list can be made.

Lunches

Will you need to make lunches for your child when they head off to school?  If so, it doesn’t hurt to think ahead.  Once you gather these supplies they should last for years. Again, check in with your child’s teacher for recommendations.

Lunch supply basics:

• A reusable lunch bag

• Reusable lunch containers (bento boxes, sandwich wraps, snack containers, etc.)

• A reusable water bottle

• Small cloth placemats and napkins

• Reusable cutlery

When school does start, it can be helpful to make lunches the night before, and your children can help!  Older children can begin making their own lunches each day.  

Conversations

Begin talking with your child about the upcoming school year.  Chances are they’re excited, but if it’s a new school or a new class, they may have some reservations.  Let them know what to expect and encourage them to ask questions.  Some possible talking points:

• If it is a new school, feel free to take a drive by to show them or remind them what the building looks like.

• What will drop-off and pick-up be like for your child?

• Are there any changes in their class this year? You might discuss new teachers, new students, or anything else that will be different.

• To the best of your ability, describe what their days will be like.

• Ask your child what their hopes are for the year. This is especially helpful and important for children in elementary and above. They can include hopes and dreams not just about academics, but friendships, special classes, and whatever else they can think of.

Lastly, if there is any information you need from us before the start of the school year, please don’t hesitate to reach out and ask.  We are looking forward to seeing your children and starting off another great year!

Creating Family Rituals

Think back to your own fond childhood memories.  What sticks out the most?  For many people, it’s the little things that leave the biggest impressions.  Perhaps it was the cookies you made together every Christmas, or staying up late to watch that special movie that only came on once a year, or maybe even the silly song your parents would sing when it was time to wake up for school.  No matter what rituals you remember from when you were young, they meant something to you.  As parents, it’s both fun and important to create some for your own children.

First, let’s define ritual.  Rituals are based on routines, and routines are a necessary component to raising children who feel safe and loved.  While children do need some element of choice in their lives, they benefit greatly from structure as well.  For example, a bedtime routine may include starting at the same time every night and completing tasks in a certain order.  Doing this allows your child to know what to expect so they can focus their learning and energy on other things.  Routines set expectations for the way a household operates.

The shift from routine to ritual is really about the identity of a group of people (in this case, a family).  Having dinner each night at 6:00 is part of the routine, but sitting together at a table and each sharing one good thing about the day turns it into a ritual.  Rituals create deeper connections between family members, allowing everyone to feel good about the time spent together.  

Looking for some ideas?  Try a few of the following:

Mealtimes

• Make eating dinner together at the table a priority as often as your schedules allow. Even if the meal doesn’t last very long, it can be a nice way to make time for each other.

• Add special touches: light a candle each night, or use pretty cloth napkins. Little details that make everyone feel special make a big difference.

• Find a way to get the conversation going. Some families share their “roses and thorns” - what’s going on in our lives that we’re not happy about, and what do we have to celebrate?

Daily

• Is there a silly element you might add to the morning routine? Sing a song about toothbrushing, dance to a song that gets everyone moving, or make up a handshake.

• Meditate together. For kids the key is to keep it short and sweet. Try breathing buddies with your little ones ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=scqFHGI_nZE ) or loving-kindness meditation with older children (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i9X6tkUXa9o ).

• Be sure to sneak in some family cuddle time!

• Have a special bedtime routine. Consider having a few special songs to choose from, a special light to use while reading together in bed, or a sweet saying when you tuck them in (your own modern version of “Sleep tight. Don’t let the bedbugs bite!”).

Weekly

• Mealtimes are often the easiest way to build in regular rituals. Think Taco Tuesdays, breakfast for dinner day, and ordering a pizza on Friday nights.

• Find something local that you can do every weekend. Some families go to church while other visit their farmer’s market.

• Make a fun time out of cleaning the house together (really!). Even your toddler can have a blast with a dustpan, and elementary-aged children and teenagers can be so helpful. All family members will have a sense of contribution and togetherness. Play some upbeat music that you know will get everyone moving!

Holidays

Most families have these rituals in place already.  Holiday rituals are often sacred to us; they’re the ones we carry on from our own childhoods and are eager to share them with our children.  Consider whether you already have some of the following rituals in place:

• Special foods for different holidays

• Songs that you can sing together in celebration

• Movies that you watch each year

• Gatherings you host or attend together

Other ideas

• Go camping together once or twice a year. The whole process, from packing to setting up the tent is packed with unforgettable rituals.

• Stay up late to witness special astronomical events outdoors.

• Volunteer together. Shop for a can drive, help out at an animal shelter, or spend time at your local soup kitchen.

• Enjoy seasonal outdoor activities together. Go apple picking every year, make a snowman, hike, or go swimming.

We would love to hear more ideas.  Please share any unique ritual ideas your family enjoys together!

Want to learn more?  

Family Routines and Rituals May Improve Family Relationships and Health, According to 50-Year Research Review

https://www.apa.org/news/press/releases/2002/12/rituals

Why Family Routines and Rituals Are Important

https://www.evergreenpsychotherapycenter.com/family-routines-rituals-important/

Family Rituals: What Are They?

https://raisingchildren.net.au/babies/family-life/routines-rituals/family-rituals

5 Reasons Your Child Should Journal This Summer (and how you can get them started)

Whether you have a major family vacation this summer or you plan to take a more low-key and local approach, your child is sure to have some fun experiences and adventures.  Capturing these experiences can be done a variety of ways, and one way is to write them down! Journaling has many benefits for children (and adults, if you would like to join in on the fun).  Even very young children who are not yet writing can journal!

First things first: it’s important to make sure you get the right journal for your child.  If your child is a writer, take them to your local bookstore or office supply store and have them select a journal or notebook they like.  This small act of choice will make them more likely to use it than if you decide for them.  Keep in mind the size of the lines on the pages should be a consideration; early writers often need slightly larger lines to make handwriting a bit more comfortable for them.

For children as young as three years old that have not started writing yet, a drawing journal is your best bet.  We love this one, as its large, spiral-bound pages hold together well and provide plenty of space!

In addition to the journal, you can just use whatever pencils, markers, or other writing utensils you have on hand.

Journaling can be done daily, whenever the child has experienced something special, or just as the mood strikes.  Remember to encourage your child to date each entry, or date it for them if they are on the younger side.

On to the benefits…

1. Journaling is an excellent creative outlet.

Whether the journaling consists of drawing, writing, or a combination of the two, having a designated place to record our thoughts is a perfect way to encourage creative thinking.  This is a space that is truly the child’s own, and they get to write their own perspective in a way that is pleasing to them.  They are likely to explore rich language, dialogue, or testing out phrases they have heard others use.  Use of color can help convey different meaning and feeling, and they will experiment with this!

Creativity is the place where we come up with new ideas, ways to solve problems, and take risks in a way that feels safe and supported.

2. The practice can help children observe the natural world.

Maria Montessori was a scientist who believed strongly in the power of observation, and as educators who follow her methods, we hold this practice in high regard.  Taking the time to notice what is going on around us, using our senses, and recording these observations helps us make sense of our experiences.

Did you and your child move worms from the sidewalk after a rainstorm?  Did they discover pieces of a crab shell on the rocks by the beach?  Did you spot an interesting mushroom while walking in the woods?  If it sparked something in your child, encourage them to write about it as soon as you get home.  They likely learned something important in that moment, and writing about it will solidify that learning, and perhaps lead to even more.

3. Journaling is a great way to explore emotions.

Children experience the same range of emotions we do, but they have not yet developed all the skills for making sense of them or regulating them.  Having a place to write down their feelings is a healthy habit to build, and a positive way to work through difficult situations.

There is something to be said for getting our thoughts and feelings down on a piece of paper.  Even if no one else ever reads it (and your child may prefer it that way), finding words that express our emotions can feel validating. 

The next time your child is feeling sad, angry, frustrated, or even joyfully elated about something, remind them that their journal is a great way to feel their feelings and figure out what they can do with them.

4. Using a journal helps children record important memories.

What would you give to have a childhood journal detailing your summer vacation adventures?  Perhaps you do, and it’s a treasure you will hang on to and share with your own children.  Starting a journal while we are young is a gift that keeps giving.  In the moments that a child writes in it, they reap so many positive benefits.  Months or even years later when they return to their writing, they will be able to relive the memories.

So many of the small moments we experience are fleeting.  If we don’t take the time to acknowledge them, they are gone forever.  A written record helps us enjoy those moments forever.

5. They will become better writers (even if they’re not writing yet).

Just the act of retelling what happened - in words or pictures - is great practice for writers.  Features such as logical sequencing, main events, and supporting details will become naturally woven into the pages of your child’s journal.  Like anything in life, the more we practice, the more proficient we become.

For those that are beginning to write words, they will have unlimited opportunities to experiment with vocabulary, punctuation, and sentence structure.  Without the pressure and confines of standardized conventions (like a teacher correcting spelling), they will feel free to stretch and take risks as writers.  While conventions are important in formal writing, the development of unique and authentic writer’s voice is just as difficult and perhaps even more important.  Having a journal all their own creates the perfect space to learn what their own voice sounds like.

We hope your child enjoys trying our journaling this summer.  If you find the idea inspiring, give it a try yourself and journal right alongside them.  Happy adventures!

5 Simple Ways to Show Her You Care on Mother’s Day

Everyone loves to feel appreciated.  With Mother’s Day coming up next Sunday, it’s a great time to think of how you might show the moms in your life what they mean to you.  We offer five simple ideas to celebrate and care for the woman who cares for everyone.

1. Remember to have a card ready.

You could absolutely buy a Mother’s Day card; there are plenty of great ones out there.  Another option (that is free and will likely be treasured forever) is to have your children make a card.  Be sure to write the date inside!  Some quick ideas for children of all ages:

Infants - Paint those chubby little hands and/or feet to make a print on the front of the card.  On the inside you could write a few reasons why you think she’s great, or use one of these beautiful poems: 

“Home” by Carl Sandburg

Here is a thing my heart wishes the world had more of:
I heard it in the air of one night when I listened
To a mother singing softly to a child restless and angry in the darkness.

“Mother, A Cradle to Hold Me” by Maya Angelou

It is true
I was created in you.
It is also true
That you were created for me.
It owned your voice.
It was shaped and tuned to soothe me.
Your arms were molded
Into a cradle to hold me, to rock me.
The scent of your body was the air
Perfumed for me to breathe.

Full poem here: https://adoption-beyond.org/mother-a-cradle-to-hold-me-by-maya-angelou/

Toddlers - Let them draw a picture on the cover, then interview them!  Ask them fun questions and record their answers inside the card.  A toddler’s perspective of the world is sure to make their mother laugh (and perhaps melt her heart).  Some ideas:

• What is your mom’s name?

• What is your favorite thing about mom?

• What is mom’s favorite thing to do?

• What is mom’s favorite food?

• How do you know mom loves you?

Preschoolers - Whether they like to draw or paint, let young kids decorate the card themselves.  On the inside, have them tell you three reasons they love their mom for you to write down.  If they have started learning to write their own name, have them sign the card.

Elementary-aged children and older children - Encourage your old kids to write a letter to their mom.  If they seem hesitant, it’s okay to brainstorm ideas with them.  Ask them to think about what’s special about their mom, what they love about her, or a time she did something really nice for them.  If they love art, they can find a special way to incorporate that, too.

2. Take your time and enjoy brunch.

You have two options here: go out to eat or make a meal at home.  Think about what she would love best!  If you choose the former, think ahead: many popular brunch spots require reservations on Mother’s Day.

If you’d like to tackle making brunch at home, you can make it special without it being complicated.  Some ideas:

• Place fresh flowers and a couple candles on the table.

• Make her a fun drink.  Think herbal tea, flavored coffee, or a mimosa!

• Try a new recipe.  This one for crepes is sure to be a hit: https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/16383/basic-crepes/

• Have the kids help!  They can assist you in cooking, setting the table, serving Mom, or even cleaning up afterward.

3. Get some fresh air together.

Hopefully the weather will cooperate and you can enjoy a gorgeous spring day together.  Consider a spot near your home that will be low-key and fun for everyone.  Would she enjoy a stroll in the park?  A short hike?  A visit to a nature preserve?

To make the experience extra-special, make sure to do all the planning and prep work.  It’s not easy getting young children out of the house!  Gather water bottles, diaper bags, and snacks.  Get the children’s shoes on, buckle them into their car seats, and do whatever else you can to give her a minute or two extra with that cup of coffee.  These gestures will not go unnoticed!

4. Pamper her.

We would like to re-emphasize that this does not need to be complicated.  Just like with brunch, you have two options: outsourcing or doing it yourself.  

Does the mom in your life enjoy spending time at spas, getting manicures, or treating herself to a massage?  If so feel free to book her an appointment or even give her a gift certificate to her favorite spot.  

Is she the type of mom who never seems to have time for herself?  If so, make sure to build some into the day.  Some simple ideas:

• Draw her a bubble bath.

• Make her a face mask!  Here are some recipes that use ingredients you’re very likely to have in your kitchen already: https://www.elle.com/uk/beauty/skin/articles/a38190/homemade-diy-face-mask-recipes/

• Depending on their ages, some children would do a great job painting their mom’s nails, giving her a shoulder rub, or even just brushing her hair.  

5. Give her something sweet.

One thing that is sure to bring a smile to her face?  A sweet treat!  For most moms, you can’t go wrong with chocolate, but think about her individual tastes.  Whether she’s into cheesecake, candy, croissants, or ice cream, make sure you have some on hand.  As with many of the other ideas we have mentioned, this special Mother’s Day dessert can be store-bought or homemade.  

Mothers give so much because they love their families.  No matter how you decide to celebrate, she is sure to appreciate the time, effort, and love you shower her with.  Enjoy!

Math on the Go!

You already know that reading aloud to your child daily can have a huge impact on their literacy development.  Did you know that doing math together at home is also important?  By integrating math into your daily lives at home, you as parents are teaching your child not only that math really is applicable to our daily lives, but that you value it as an area of study.  Finding a variety of ways to work through problems together prevents children from developing the self-narrative of “I’m not good at math” before it ever starts.  

Looking for tips to get started?

In the Kitchen

While there are likely nights you need to whip up a quick dinner, get everyone fed and off to bed, it can be nice to find ways to invite your children to cook with you sometimes.  Doing so has a host of benefits, including the development of practical life skills, confidence building, and family bonding, but there are also plenty of opportunities to learn about and practice math skills.

Consider what it takes to make a meal.  From reading a recipe, to combining ingredients, thinking about cooking temperatures, and even how long to cook a meal, there are a wide variety of skills your child can experience first-hand: 

• Reading written fractions in recipes

• Comparing differences in volume while adding measured ingredients

• Adding fractions or utilizing fraction equivalencies

• Using multiplication or division when halving or doubling a recipe

• Calculating elapsed time while waiting for a treat to bake

• Understanding units of measurement concerning temperature

At the Store

Shopping is one of those frequent life necessities, and we often have our children in tow.  Turn this family chore into a fun learning experience by incorporating math.  Here are some ideas for a variety of ages:

• Counting specific items

• Identifying numbers on signs

• Estimating costs of items

• Rounding costs of items to the nearest dollar and adding mentally

• Identifying coins and their values

• Comparing price and quantity to determine product value

• Weigh produce on the scale

• Use addition or multiplication to determine cost when buying multiples on an item

• Determine how much change will be received from the cashier

In the Car

Whether you’re making the quick drive to school in the morning or settling in for a lengthy family road trip, it’s possible to incorporate math skills along the journey.  The key is to make it fun and not work!

• Notice numbers on signs.  Talk about place value.

• Similar to the alphabet game, play the number game.  Look for numbers outside and call them out in order.  “I see a 1 on that sign!’  “I spotted a 2 on that license plate!”

• Play a shape-finding game.

• Clue kids into mileage information.  Have them figure out how far you’ve traveled or how much further you have to go.

• Keep track of time.  Solve problems similar to the mileage ones.

• Make your real-life word problems multi-step: ask your child how their answers might change if you need to drive a certain number of miles or minutes out of the way to make a stop.

• Estimate fuel costs, both before you arrive at the pump, and guessing how much the tank will need to fill.

• Skip count together in silly voices.  Count by 2s, 5s, 10s, and more!

The Backyard

Believe it or not, your own backyard is likely full of real-life math opportunities.  Whether you’re gardening, making repairs, or building something together, keep an eye out for things like:

• Size comparisons: which tree is taller? Wider?

• Notice the temperature.  If you’re really motivated, keep track over a week and make a graph.

• Measure everything!  Younger children can stick to non-standard units.  “How many ‘mommy feet’ long do you think this piece of wood is?  Now let’s try your feet!”

• Kids love to use adult tools, so show them the correct way to use a measuring tape.  Start with length, and explore perimeter and area with older children.

• Kids always seem to be collecting small objects.  Use these rocks, acorns, or sticks to count, add, or subtract.

• With older children, use seeds for math before planting.  Show them an array and how it relates to multiplication and division.

• Estimation opportunities are everywhere.  How many leaves are on that branch?  How many insects might we find under this log?  How many dandelions are blooming right now

No matter where you are or what you’re doing, your children love just spending time with you.  Finding simple ways to incorporate mathematical thinking can be a fun way to squeeze a little bit of learning out of an already enjoyable experience

Remember to ask your child lots of questions, but don’t feel like you need to give them the answers right away.  When we discover something for ourselves, the information is so much more powerful.  Of course, if they seem confused or ask for help, it’s okay to model and teach!

Let us know what you learn together!